Egypt

i am one of the few lucky ones who has an opportunity of a life time. i have the opportunity to finalize my education in the UK. 

yeah i know , i should be all happy and excited maybe even thrilled!

ironically i am not that glad.

Maybe Egypt is not the perfect place to live in, 

yes, it is true there is a lot of corruption , sexual harassment, economic 

disasters etc etc..

but there is also that nice smile of a simple old taxi driver who tells you the story of his 2 year old grand daughter who likes to sleep in the cold with the fan on! 

Or maybe even nag all the way about the new traffic laws till you reach your destination. 

And when you get tired or dizzy, you would find the whole street gathering around you ( well they are not all there to help you out, some are just there to watch what's going on) but in the middle of this whole gathering you will find the short chubby stinky veiled woman wearing black in black and rounded features coming towards you, holding you against her chest saying "Allah Akbar" in your ears believeing that this will help in your time of weakness not even realizing whether i am christian or muslim or what so ever. 

you might be suffocating from her smell .. but isn't it the sweetest thing to find this motherly warm instinct!

you walk around Egypt and you find all the architect and history to amaze you right infront of your eyes!

Abdeen Palace, Mohamed Ali Mosque and its fascinating artwork, the Hussein street with all the warm colors of brass and copper and the art work of clothes and Pharonic statues. 

how would i ignore the most vivid river Nile and it's beauty at night with the lightnings,

and last but never the least the great Pyramids and their authenticity, touches you deep down and by looking at them you just know You're Home, you belong. 

i think what makes Egypt warm is that it's still not that ruined by the artificial Botox smiles, 

a child can still laugh on Se3eidi jokes instead of dirty jokes or implications!

you can still see the the man's tiresome while working in the field, a woman's devotion while helping her man. 

i know i am not quite familiar with the British People, but i do know i will miss my Egypt!

A Father to Love

Here i am wondering where could i find the sense of joy that a daughter finds in her papa's arms or the security when she lays her head on her Papa's chest 

 

Instead ,

U left me in the darkness of my thoughts and your actions. 

What made you forget your own soul

Wasn't i a part of you?

Wasn't i your essence of life? 

Your reason for living ?

Where were you;

 

When i needed a place to hide?

When i needed to laugh ?

When i needed to feel home?

 

Every night i squeeze my eyes shut 

trying to remember a loving voice,

 

Just to get myself to smile again .

 Just to remember one day i had a father 

 

Instead,

Here i am alone wondering in the darkness of my thoughts and your actions.

± CoNfUsIoN ±

Somehow everyone is addicted to something 

We might not even realise it nor feel that it is even addiction

but we feel its effect in our lives;

holding on to us ,

 ripping us apart , 

tearing us between two worlds. 

being surrounded by a web , that sometimes i think its just in my skin. 

loving the delight of it's pain

enjoying the taste of  numbness 

being wasted, looking at those elusive future reflections

can i rise above all this 

can i seek that hand reaches for me, giving me that dim light of hope. 

it's  far, i would sometimes say its not even reachable.

An optical illusion that shows in the darkness of my world. 

yet still it is my only way

it is my only hope

Friends:-

such a small word for big actions 

such a tiny expression for big affections

i know i am blessed 

in a way or another i know i was granted something special . 

something that made all my special ones forget about my defects, ugliness 

i was touched . 

i was touched not only by a hug not by a kiss but in my soul and heart

you've touched me with your love, support and care

although i had nothing to offer you, but still you were there to hold my hands in times of sorrow

a shoulder to lean on it times of trial 

and a good joke to laugh at in times of desperation 

yes God gave me the Gift Of Friends and Loved ones

and i treasure every moment i laugh and every second i share with every Gift God sent me. 

Cage

like a bear locked in a cage searching for its way out.
tired from fighting the fences
paws hurting from hitting the cage,
sleeping in the middle of that small space just to feel that there is a space available around him
just like he used to feel before being caught up in that web;
every day u see the bear fighting that cage, searching for freedom ,a way out to run in the bushes where it actually belongs,
somewhere afar from being watched daily with no one to help him
no one to listen to his cries for freedom
no partner to lean on.
just alone in that cage.
Does anyone even knows what that feels like,
Does anyone feel that
can anyone help or shall i say "will anyone help"

i fight that cage daily
i scream for freedom but can any one hear me ?
instead everyone's watching, some amused , others are impressed , and others really feel bad !!
but can any one hear my cries of help